Besarkada – An Interview with Simone Hadder
I had arranged to make a Skype video call to conduct this interview and what came alive on the screen was a white well-lit room. On the wall hung a cheerful painting – ‘Children of the World’- and sitting in front of it was Simone, dressed in white and smiling angelically. It was like phoning Heaven. She has a smile like spring water.
What is love for you?
Love is everything for me. Love is what I need to live. Love is what I want to give to my nearest and favourite people. And for me love is God. I’m a very religious person and I know what love is in a spiritual way and of course in a human way.
If love comes from God, why do we suffer from love?
Because we are just human beings. I studied theology in Germany and I know that we’re so little that we’re just thinking and feeling like human beings. Love can not mean for us what it means for God. So we’re suffering from a love that is not the real love that I know is the love of God. I loved my ex-husband but I loved him in a very small way compared to my love of God. I’m still on way to understanding my love for human beings and transcendental love.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
I’ll speak personally now. That’s my talent…to be personal. I am a good person and bad things have happened to me like my car accident in Preston, England on 1995 when I was almost dead. This was my essential experience. This influences me every day. I broke my pelvis in ten places and the pain was terrible. I asked myself a lot of times ‘why did this happen to me?’ I had to fight a lot and I’m still fighting against my pain but I have good faith although I have chronic pain. I hate having pain. You can’t imagine what it is. It’s like I am a bull in a bullfight and the matador is killing me. But I am still fighting and l am still living. This is my destiny. This is my drama.
What is the biggest problem facing the human race at the moment?
I have a great fear of terrorism. And I want to maintain nature. People are destroying themselves and that’s a fact and so we are destroying in our little relationships and in general. When I watch the German news I am very worried about what’s happening in the small things and the big. We need the economic crisis, I think, to be more responsible and show more solidarity. But terrorism and stupid religious mess this is what I worry about.
If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?
I’ve been thinking about it but I wouldn’t change anything in my little life. But I would go with my daughter to a poor country to help and I would change my little emotions against my ex-husband and seek mediation with him. This a complex question. I can’t answer it in two sentences.
Do you read poetry?
Sometimes. It depends on my mood. I have a lot of poetry in my room. And yesterday I read a little bit of poetry – ‘Pasión’! Love poems. We have a lot of great German poetry – not Shakespeare we have Goethe and Schiller, and I like it and I have in the other room more poetry. Ask me which poetry is my favourite.
I don’t have any favourite poems but I have one motto. In Latin it’s ‘carpe diem’. That my favourite poetry for my life. I saw it in ‘Dead Poets society’. This is pure poetry. I saw that film when I was a student nurse in Germany in 1991 I think. I and I have it in my DVD library. I love it. I am a teacher and I wanted to be a teacher when I was 6 years old. This is my passion.
What’s your mission in life?
My mission in life is to be still alive and to make this life full of life and full of love. I need people to love and be loved by. This is quite religious but it is what I am for. And also to be a good mother. My daughter is the best thing I ever did. I hope I can love to be a hundred. My new decade – I am now 40 – and I think every decade has its own energy and in 2010 I am 40 and very happy to be!
Is optimism a strength or a weakness? Explain your answer
Both. I think I’m optimistic but I know how hard it is to be optimistic if you’ve got in your surroundings pessimists and people who cannot use their intelligence because they are jealous and selfish. When you are optimistic and in a very good mood and you have success, and then because…oh, how to explain it in English?! I’m optimistic but sometimes I feel quite weak. Or it could be because…no I’m not pessimistic..but I am sometimes weak because I have all the constructs in my head that I am not good enough and I don’t do what society expects me to do.
What’s your favourite recipe?
I don’t have any favourite food like children but my Mum is a good cook and so when you ask me this I am thinking of her to ask her for a good recipe. Yesterday I cooked something with potatoes and mushrooms and it was good. And I like pasta and Italian food bit this is not my favourite recipe.
You have already told us that your favourite motto is ‘carpe diem’…
My motto is ‘carpe diem’ and in Facebook I put a motto one and half years ago – ‘I love to live and I love to love’ . I put it in German and it’s a nice wordplay.” Ich liebe mein Leben und lebe, um zu lieben…!”
What does the future hold?
Well, I will have a man in my life but I don’t know if he will be German, Basque or Spanish. My mission is to help people, this is my energy. I have some photos of over sixty people who have stayed here in my place and I am saving up to buy a hostel. I have about 8 years to go. Everything I try, I do! I am Capricorn. I will call the hostel Besarkada , a Basque word, which means something like ‘hugs’ or ‘meetings’. So that will be the future; hugs and meetings in my house!
